Stephanie Ford • 11 min read • 12
Today’s post is through Stephanie, another Australian who has got started learning Russian while teaching in Russia.
In this post she stocks about her experience as a female dating in Russia while learning the language. It is a subject we have actually a great deal to state about really I partly credit with helping me learn the language so quickly (links to my story below) as I had a Russian girlfriend during my time in Kazan which.
Therefore it’s interesting to listen to another perspective – especially the one that respects the standard values of Russian culture. ??
Russia is portrayed to your western being a cool, difficult destination with a few magical architecture, array vodka shots, and a frontrunner whom dances with bears and who, for many unfathomable explanation, never ever wears a top.
The folks are portrayed within the countless US movies featuring Russians as spies or people in gangs who continue steadily to relate to one another solely as comrade (which, incidentally, is really a term that came into English through the Romance languages and it is generally not very a word that is russian! Who knew?! ).
Whilst it really is cold, vodka definitely exists, and calendars featuring A putin that is shirtless and aren’t an issue, you will find one thousand misconceptions about Russian tradition and individuals.
After residing right right here for very long sufficient to catch a great glimpse into Russian tradition, here you will find the things you to know about Russia and Russians that I want:
1. The greater amount of traditional view of females that persists in Russia comes with its perks in dating (and day-to-day life)
That I do not condone any “traditional” view of women that involves domestic violence or any kind of behaviour that devalues, disrespects or degrades the importance of the woman’s free will before I get stuck into this point, I want to make it clear.
The thing I do wish to state is, as being a financially-independent Western woman, I ENJOY that Russian males hold doorways available me off buses for me and help.
Do We expect it? No.
Does it enrage me personally when it will or doesn’t take place? Not really.
Do i’m a flutter that is small of in my own belly whenever my date does it? Without a doubt I Really Do!
It’s a respectful motion and it implies that they’re capable of thinking about other people. If nothing else, that is certainly a lot better than having a guy yell “nice arse” at me personally from a motor vehicle…
It’s a tad bit more complicated outside of the dating scene.
I’m grateful when a person helps me straight down through the train or bus. I’m Australian and I also have always been maybe perhaps not yet comfortable leaping down one thing just a little higher than I’d so it is genuinely helpful like it to be when my landing space is covered in snow and ice.
It’s additionally heartwarming to see males assisting ladies with prams, shopping bags/trolleys or other things within the stairs, BUT i am going to admit that I’m suspicious of just what my male 14-year-old students are around if they insist upon keeping the class home available in my situation. ??
It is additionally only a little bewildering whenever a senior woman rejects my offer to greatly help her with her shopping, simply to accept the offer regarding the next moving male.
Russia is certainly not an impairment place that is friendly numerous ways, therefore I do question whether these gestures that being increasingly scrutinized within the West and called away as possibly being “sexist” are borne of prerequisite and consideration, much less a results of a far more “traditional” view of females.
The point is, once I recall the battles that I’d with lazy/tired Melbourne employees for the train chair once I had stitches within my base and compare it aided by the Russians jumping down their seats to aid anybody somewhat even worse off than on their own, i believe the western could discover anything or two.
2. The greater conventional view of females that persists in Russia comes with its downsides in dating
Therefore, on the dating scene since I moved to Russia (pun intended), I haven’t exactly gamed the system and found perfection here whilst I love the doors that have opened for me.
There are specific objectives which come along side being women in Russia that we don’t always contribute to. I’m a pretty low-to-zero maintenance woman, within the feeling that We don’t invest a huge amount of time keeping myself and my typical hairstyle is “yes, my locks was washed recently sufficient after which left to its devices”.
We truly don’t appearance or scent like We invested the very last 36 months coping with Russian bears, but, set alongside the effort place in by Russian ladies, i could oftimes be best described as ordinary.
A few of my male friends and times have actually brought this through to an amount of occasions.
A number of the feedback are innocuous:
“You don’t look or dress just like a Russian”
Most are a bit more overt:
“Have you ever seriously considered getting your teeth whitened? ”
In Australia, ladies who cannot prepare or whom don’t simply simply take ownership of housekeeping duties aren’t likely to be ostracized these days. We have firsthand experience and a lot of anecdotes that recommend Russian guys prefer ladies who will tackle these tasks with a grin.
The Russian man that I’ve been seeing is thrilled to prepare. He really makes me elaborate breakfasts whenever we remain.
He could be additionally a lot more than happy to use the backseat on every single other dinner and makes a show of complimenting me whenever we prepare.
No foul it’s a little Pavlovian, but for now I find it cute so no harm.
Another social huge difference that I’ve noticed is the fact that male-female friendships aren’t typical. Pupils within my classes have actually raised their eyebrows over and over again whenever I’ve mentioned spending some time with a male buddy.
Navigating friendships with Russian males could be tricky because their motives will tend to be only a little dissimilar to your very own.
This definitely exists within Western culture, however the undertones take steroids in Russia, where wedding and young ones are hot topics between the moms and dads of solitary individuals within their mid-to-late twenties.